There is a cat sitting at the door looking for the Walkway to Summer. He is teaching me that needing is okay.
Birds are singing about Spring and Imbolc/Candlemas Light has come trickling down the trees.
For me a little Hermann Hesse is giving me the kind of sanctuary that my body craves. And with that, the return to the woods — where many of my good friends live.
“For me, trees have always been the most penetrating preachers. I revere them when they live in tribes and families, in forests and groves. And even more I revere them when they stand alone. They are like lonely persons. Not like hermits who have stolen away out of some weakness, but like great, solitary men, like Beethoven and Nietzsche. In their highest boughs the world rustles, their roots rest in infinity; but they do not lose themselves there, they struggle with all the force of their lives for one thing only: to fulfil themselves according to their own laws, to build up their own form, to represent themselves. Nothing is holier, nothing is more exemplary than a beautiful, strong tree. When a tree is cut down and reveals its naked death-wound to the sun, one can read its whole history in the luminous, inscribed disk of its trunk: in the rings of its years, its scars, all the struggle, all the suffering, all the sickness, all the happiness and prosperity stand truly written, the narrow years and the luxurious years, the attacks withstood, the storms endured. And every young farmboy knows that the hardest and noblest wood has the narrowest rings, that high on the mountains and in continuing danger the most indestructible, the strongest, the ideal trees grow.
Trees are sanctuaries. Whoever knows how to speak to them, whoever knows how to listen to them, can learn the truth. They do not preach learning and precepts, they preach, undeterred by particulars, the ancient law of life.” — Hermann Hesse
In truth…I am very lost. No longer working, a pause in the multitudes of doctor appointments, and the total lack of desire to gaze upon my navel (which, truthfully, I could map out with my eyes closed) has given me a bad case of indifference. This is a good thing, as it as also given me the time to see what my life is needing/craving on a cellular level. And…dare I say…maybe a bit of Wanting as well.